And that’s where my confession needs to be made (and an apology to all the Nuns at my Catholic School whom I refused to confess to):
I am a pathological perfectionist.
Man, it feels so good to say it out aloud. I have crazy, high, sometimes unrealistic expectations. I’m constantly battling disappointment.
When I transferred over to road cycling from a background in endurance sports, I was 33 years old. I said to my family, friends and coach, “I want to be Road World Champion.” Seriously, what a douche bag!
Even though I had not endured the endless kms and hours on the pedals that comes along with getting a bike in your teens, I figured I could achieve my goals in triple-time with a science, a plan, great people around me & a healthy dose of impatience.
An awesome combination had I been maybe five years younger, independently wealthy and not too much of a thinker.
Of course, being an impatient athlete with a strong work ethic had a few fatal flaws. The most vital of which I am only just coming to realise: I missed out on the wonderful discovery, play and the essential FUN that accompanies riding a bike.
That freedom, riding for the heck of it, racing buddies for invisible sprint lines, mountain biking, track racing…there was none of that. I chose to have very specific goal-oriented training and I applied the same discipline and focus that got me into and through Med School: hard work = results.
Guess what? It doesn’t."
I didn’t know which part of this amazing blog to quote - it’s all strong, powerful, honest, and I recommend it, even more than I usually do Bridie’s writing (and that’s a LOT!)