Trapped at home by the floods, the owner of the yoga studio Abbott frequented for five years was unable to open shop, and was ultimately forced to close its doors. In the span of a weekend, Abbott had lost two vital outlets that brought her spiritual and physical calm.
“I really had to spend the last few weeks focusing, and keeping those things that sustain me in mind,” Abbott said. “I am wanting to go to worlds with the intention of honoring all of those things that brought me to where I am — those things that are currently hurting.”"
"Rather than standing up for myself and saying, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m not happy here and I’ve got to figure it out,’ I sort of said to myself, ‘Hey, maybe if I disappear, I can just get out of that without having to do all that hard thinking.’ And so, in many ways, except for the fact that it was very unhealthy and kind of emotionally challenging, it made perfect sense. It was a great idea except for the fact that it wasn’t.”
Instead of just capitulating and walking away, she sank into a self-sabotage that saw her waste away, physically, by consciously under-eating so that her veiled anorexia would slowly reduce her to a point of competitive irrelevance. Unhappy with her new team, and uncertain of her place in the sport, Abbott employed the tactic — something she likened to “body-sulking,” with characteristic, but saddening, success."
An interview/ profile of Mara Abbott - talking about her eating disorder, and how she returned to cycling to win the Giro Rosa.